Multitasking: friend or foe?

I have always prided myself on being efficient. Give me 30 minutes where I'm not taking care of children (or my husband, for that matter), and I can conquer the world. I love the feeling of accomplishment and that sweet satisfaction it brings me as I fall asleep. In fact, one of the hardest things about moving to the UK was the lack of efficiency. I'm not trying to be the stereotypical arrogant American, but I will say that a country that rains more than Seattle, gets less sun than anywhere I've been, and is as far north as Moscow does not seem to be the ideal place to not have clothes dryers. I can handle not having dishwater- I can physically scrub, rinse, and dry them myself in less time than a dishwasher, so that's NBD to me at all. However, I can not physically air dry my clothes. There is nothing I can do to speed up this process. Granted using the radiators does help, but that also costs us- we joke that we're here for a PhD, not an MD. (Thank you, wonderful Mike and Phyllis for a dryer!)

I digress, as usual. My point is this- part of being efficient is multitasking. Why not make a phone call while washing dishes (that's what the shoulder is there for, right?)? Or, why not prep dinner while the kids munch a snack and are relatively contained? Or why not watch a girly DVD while on the elliptical? I guess for me, I kind of got to the point where it was getting more challenging to draw hard and fast boundaries. I mean, I stay at home so I can rear our kids. That's the point of me giving up the job I loved- it wasn't a hard choice- I loved my kids more than my job and we are able to make ends meet this way.

So, I find that the god of efficiency (and therefore multitasking) has robbed us of quality time and even thorough results. For example, that phone call while washing dishes was not as thoughtful as it could have been. The dishes weren't as clean as they should have been. That time with the kids sitting, smiling, and enjoying life was missed while I cut some vegetables that could have waited. I am beginning to agree with this website:

Simply put, multitasking is trying to do too many things at once... Pressure in the modern workplace leads many of us to think that if we can do two things at once, we could save time, take on more and be more satisfied. What actually happens is that more mistakes are made, so we have to do tasks more than once, effectively lowering our achievement levels and creating frustration for those we work with and ourselves.

Now, I'm the first to admit that efficiency and multitasking can be very valuable resources, especially in the workforce. Obviously, I am at home with my kids, but while one goes to preschool, the other naps, and that is when I work- than and after they go to bed. I do love time with my husband, too, so getting as much done in as little time possible is essential for us. However, I am not willing to sign off on lower quality work. For me, I just need some time and a quiet place to think, free from distractions (don't put me close to a sink, or I'll try to get to work there, too). I've found that sometimes I just need to focus on one task at hand and do that one thing well.

Is it just me, or is working from home distracting?

Being a mom and working from home isn't always as seamless as I'd like.

I work from home. This sounded like such a good idea - my husband can do his thing, I can do mine and still take care of our little ones. It has been a lot more challenging than I anticipated to say the least.

Here is a slice of daily "work" (in no particular order)

-Mama, I need you to check my bottom - 2 minutes to enter bathroom where 3 year old is bottom-up

-mailman knocks on door - 1 minute to explain he has come to _____ Road, not _____ Street, which is why the address is wrong

-mail contains info on getting kids' swine flu shots - 5 minutes to read, 5 minutes to email husband to get his thoughts on whether we do the dreaded jabs

-daughter wants to play Clifford game before Mommy "works" - 15 minutes

-cell phone buzzes its sad little low-energy buzz - 2 minutes to find it, 1 minute to plug it in

-phone actually rings - 2 minutes to go see who it is and decide to ignore it b/c I'm supposed to be working

-3 year old needs one millionth toy she can't reach in her "room time" - 1 1/2 minutes to chastise her for yelling down the stairs that connect to 1 year old's room that has no door and which houses him sleeping (hopefully) and 3 minutes to go upstairs and retrieve said toy

-stare at passers-by through living room window- 1 minute

It all adds up (38 1/2 minutes) - and that was just the first 40 minutes of me sitting down to work. I'm not kidding. I'm still thrilled to be a stay-at-home mom, but I can see why few want to hire us. We're not very focused. Who continues to crunch numbers, for example, if her 2 year old is throwing up on the new carpet? ("Just a sec honey - hold it in, just one more minute while Mommy hits save...")

Here are a few of the things I do to actually be a mom and accomplish my work:

1. Work during sleep times/parent during wake times. I don't care how tired I'll be, my kids will only be young once, and I am not going to miss it.

2. Coordinate their naps - even if it means hard work. Since I had #2, I have worked from home. From the day I brought him home, he and my older one have slept at the same time- not for the same amount of time, but they go down at the same time. Now that my older one has dropped her nap, she has preschool during the weekday afternoons and "room time/quiet time" on the weekends where she plays by herself in her room. This gives me work time, her a break, as well as a creative outlet that all the experts say is necessary for a well-balanced child.

3. Turn off the phones/ringers. I can call back later.

4. Check email at beginning of work time to see if there's anything urgent, then close it out, so I don't see new ones coming in.

5. Use white noise. It helps drone out the neighbors and gives a peaceful hum that keeps me task-oriented. (Here is a free white noise generator I like that you can try out.)

6. Set reasonable expectations and goals and communicate those with boss - I can only accomplish so much during my work hours. It's important that my employer know my situation and know that my kids come first (so does my husband for that matter).

7. Honor my work schedule/commitment - if it's 10 hrs/week, work 10 hrs/week. I am creative as to how I get it in (such as going to a coffee shop on a Sat morning, which is a welcome break for me from a normal day or working all during the week so that I have the weekend off), but I always honor my commitment, which keeps me employed.

8. No computers from 5-7pm. These are the fussy times for the kids and when my husband comes home. My family gets my time when they need it, no question. (My husband has the same rule and our marriage has changed as a result - we pay more attention to each other and the children, and we all have thrived.)

I know it seems like there should be a 9 and 10, but in all honesty, I'd be making them up, whereas the above 8 items are things I actually do.

Triple Bday party

Before I get to the party, here is my sweet one at our church's play group. I'd love to get him a car like this for his 2nd bday...we'll see what I can find!

That night we did a family movie night (the Ellises gave us the idea)- all under a blanket, lights off, and popcorn- very fun!!

Onto the post title. On Saturday morning, we attended a triple princess party for Lily-3 , Abigail- 2, and Mercy-3. Rachel (Mercy's mom) is an amazing artist and decorated the whole place in accordance with the Princess and the Frog- all 3 girls are somewhat tom-boyish, so the throw-in of the frog was essential. :) Rachel also had enough princess costumes for anyone to dress-up.

Luke enjoyed the chocolate cupcakes.

Evidently, so did Lily.

LOVE this picture!

Abigail was a darling princess, too.

Rachel and Angie.

A quick pic of some of the many children roaming around.

Adam (Calvin and Mercy), Darren (Joshua and Mercy), Joe (Duncan, #2 on the way), Josh (surely you know Rebekah and Luke), Justin (Jamie and Callie)

We lost a couple shots for some unknown reason...so sad.

Yes, Rebekah still loves school! It is my ace in the hole when I need something to bribe her with- she is scared we'll take her out for disobeying, and we roll with it. She has been struggling with not being too sassy, so we need all we can get. Luke also has decided to unleash his feistier side- he is spunky- who knew?? Seriously, that child will blatantly disobey while looking me in the eye and smiling charmingly. It is somewhat scary. We have had to start disciplining him, but as soon as he stops crying he will repeat the offense laughingly. Whoa boy. But, we are having a blast with our little spitfires. They are sooo fun!

See you next time!

Our first trip to the library

I mentioned that we went to the library on Tuesday- Christy invited us as her children (Joshua- 4 and Abigail-2) love it! Every fortnight (2 weeks), the library has a children's time for songs and stories. I wasn't sure about how it would go, but we got ready and made the trek. There's not really convenient parking in the city, so we walked 25 minutes there, and since it wasn't raining, it was very nice, esp with company.

Getting ready to go- I'll translate- "Um, Mom, there's something on my hands....?"

"Mom, seriously, take them off."

This is the library- pretty impressive, eh? I love the blue light posts.

Next to the library are a church and a theatre. (Jokingly, these 3 buildings are referred to as Education, Damnation, and Salvation)

I was very impressed with the children's library. Bless them, it is a whole floor just for the kids! No being quiet and or worrying- it was great! We all got library cards, too! Evidently there are no late fees for kids when they check out stuff, so I said, "2, please!"

Luke was jazzed about these little chairs.

Beks was all about going to the front and center.

They also played on this book car.

A better view of the floor. Love the windows.

Song and story time- it's about 30 minutes, which is perfect.

Joshua, Rebes, and Abigail hard at art work and bingo.

There was a lot of local children's art work, which I thought was cute. Lots of tartans and Scottish things.

These are all depictions of Robert Burns, who will be celebrated soon. Scots love their local famous people!

School- day 3

It was day 3 today, but really the first day of the "whole time." I dropped her off at 12:45, and she never looked back. Seriously, she shed her backpack and raincoat in one swift movement, as she floated into her classroom. It didn't feel strange until I got home and only had one child...with whom I had mental plans to play one-on-one until he immediately said, "Nuh-nigh!" Evidently, Luke was ready to take a nap. We picked Rebekah up at 3. She saw me and said, "Mom, no! It hasn't been a whole day!" I told her she stayed as long as the other children, to which she replied, "Mom- it's not night, it hasn't been a whole day!" Sweet girl had a ball. Seriously, it's everything she loves: reading, crafts, dress-up, play-dough, and snacks. Plus, as I waited for Rebes to be done, I looked around- posted outside the classroom were 2 things- the week's snacks and the week's activities. I loved seeing all they were doing and that today was the day the kids would help with baking their snacks. I asked Rebekah about it, and she said that today was the boys' turns and she would get to next time. I loved her sweet attitude about it. She sang her special school song on the way to and fro, by the way. We love school. ;)

What it would be like if we had 3....

We are babysitting a 5-month-old tonight, and the kids LOVED having Augustine here for bed time.

Staring at the baby.

Luke kissing the baby...(many, many times)

Rebekah kissing the baby

Luke getting another peek

and another!

and maybe one more

My personal fave- a foot in both worlds: hand on baby, eyes on movie

And for your viewing pleasure....first, the kids kissing Augustine, then Rebekah singing her school song she made up on our way to school today. (She had another great day and gets to stay the whole time tomorrow!)

First Day of Skewel!!

Yes, today was the much-anticipated first day of "nursery" (aka preschool).

How do you think it went?

Very well! In fact, on the walk there, Rebekah excitedly told every stranger "I'm sooo excited- I get to go to school today! (she would crane her head to keep talking to them as we went in the opposite direction) I'm 3 1/2, I get to go to school!" Precious.

While Rebekah will normally attend nursery 5 days a week from 12:45-3:15, they start each child off slowly. Today I brought her in for a 30-minute segment- I wrongly thought I was supposed to sit in there with her, but they said, "Good-bye, Mummy!" and my daughter never noticed. I cried in the waiting room. I won't lie. However, when I returned, she said, "No, Mommy! Leave!" (We talked about impolite that was, by the way). They said she did great and we would do the same thing tomorrow, but for an hour.

This was snack time. It is 2.50 pds a week (about $4-5), which is optional. I cannot imagine her sadness if we did not pay for a snack.

This was a dress-up/play area- on the right it is labeled "Sunnybank Pet Shop" and there are lots of stuffed animals for "sale." So cute!

This was the crafty area, and there is an art easel to the left that R is reeeeaal excited about.

This is the reading area.

Rebekah has 2 or 3 teachers every day, and they seemed very nice- all women, praise the Lord. They have art, music, gym, reading, and play time throughout the week. The art work throughout the school is awesome and makes me smile.

Interestingly, Rebekah stands out like a sore thumb. Not only is she the only American and the only blond, she also might be the only child whose native language is English. The children seemed very sweet- the names I remember are Lambrini, Lya, Mohammed, Hosam, Nicholas, Sherwin.... :) Because we are so near the Uni, this particular primary school has an international reputation. Strangely enough, we fit that description!

I'll keep you updated!

(We also visited the library for the first time this morning, but in a rare moment of restraint, I will post it separately.)

3?

Heard today in my kitchen:

Mom, I think we're going to do something different every day in school. (tucks hair behind her ear)- That's just my guess, though.

Sadly, I have to go potty, but then I'm going back to play.

"R"

I have really been persuaded by recent reading no to push early learning except by context. For example, I am not prone to showing Rebekah flashcards and making her memorize her letters. I did tell myself, though, that I would teach her anything (I could) that she wanted to know. Today, she decided to wanted to learn how to write. I told her she would need to know her letters first. She has never been interested in actually recognizing specific letters before today. Today it was only because it was a prereq to what she really wanted to do: write like Mommy.

This is her first "R"- I loved it.

You can guess which was hers. :) Anyway, we spent time reciting the alphabet and looking at corresponding letters from a puzzle, but I'll be honest- she wasn't too keen on it. It always surprises me since I love reading and writing. However, she really is a carbon copy of Josh in almost every way, of which I was reminded a little later when she covered up some of the monkeys in a picture and said, "If I take away these 2 monkeys, I only have 3 left." Math. Of course- my nemesis. Maybe Luke will be my reader.

In other news, we are doing great! These past few days have been much better than I anticipated. The kids are adjusting extremely well and are almost back on track, as are we. Josh always takes the longest, poor thing, but he is sleeping well. I will spare you the details, but it really does get easier each time- maybe just knowing what to expect is half the battle.

I have bee pleased how quickly and naturally I have settled back in. Driving on the wrong side of the road, I mean the left side, has been a snap. Plus, God was nice enough to relieve Aberdeen of a month's worth of snow and ice just as we were arriving, so it hasn't been that bad, though very gloomy and dark around 4pm. I have spent time with friends, too, which is always wonderful. I really love our flat and we feel so comfortable here- the kids went right back to their old ways here. So nice.

Luke is just growing up every minute. Since he started walking, I feel as if he has caught up developmentally in one big step- literally. ;) He is talking all the time! Today he said so many new words and he learns so fast! He walked up to the oven, put his sweet little hand on the outside and said "Ot!" until I looked him in the eye and said, "Yes, buddy, hot." He labels everything he knows as he passes it and will point until he learns a new word. He also hums/grunts "uh uh uh" to a certain tune until you sing the song he wants, then he grins and "sings" along. I marvel at what a fun little boy he is.

Rebekah really enjoyed our one-on-one time today during Luke's nap. I think it rejuvenated her. Hours later, she smiled sweetly at me and said, "Thank you, Mommy, for teaching me my letters." Sweet girl. She doesn't know them, by the way, but she has learned the letters in her name.

All in all, I ma feeling oh so content with my life, even here in Aberdeen and am thankful for all the Lord is teaching me during young mamahood and being so far away from family. :)

We're here

This is us back...don't be fooled, Rebekah is delighted we are "home."

(p.s. After this shot, she grinned at me and asked, "Did I do good?")

The flights went pretty well. Both kids slept a lot less than I anticipated, but they were good, so I can't complain too much. :) Luke is really starting to talk- a lot! He liked pointing things out, such as every "yight" he saw and he even can say "er-pane" too. Precious.

We got in at 11am yesterday (felt like 5am to us) and we put the kids and ourselves down for a nap 12-3:30. The kids slept pretty well last night- Luke was up 11:30pm-1am, but we let him work it out in his crib- he wasn't much more cheerful when awake with us, so that was the best decision for him, and from last year, we knew he would go back to sleep and sleep well after that. Rebekah, on the other hand, only woke up at 1:10am (right after Luke finally went to sleep) because she couldn't find her "BB" (special blanket). I laid with her for a few minutes and then went back to bed. I ended up having to wake them at 10 or 10:30am, so at least we got good sleep post-1am. I was pleased.

Today was a nice, relaxing day- we unpacked yesterday (yea for US food and new clothes and toys), so Josh went in to school, and the kids and I went to play group and had a great day. It was wonderful reconnecting with friends and laughing. ;)

On the way back from play group, we stopped by Rebekah's school (she kept saying, "Look, Luke! That's your sister's school!") to ensure she had a spot still. Indeed she does and she starts next Tuesday! She is super-excited!

I really have been surprised watching Luke- seeing him walking here s really fun! He said a lot of new things today- so great to finally understand him more. He likes to look out the windows and look for er-panes and birs (airplanes and birds). When I showed him his birds on his wall (just pictures of birds), he started looking all around, as if he was just missing birds flying in his room.

Recent Rebekah phrases:

Mom, how do you know me so well?
I don't know how I feel about that.
Dad, if you want more pizza, you just let me know.

Puffer vests and bon voyage

I'll be honest, I love fashion trends, especially for my children. :)

This season it's plaid, puffer vests, and pretty boots. I thought my 2 were precious. :)

This was us waiting for our family lunch at El Fenix, a family haunt.

I was delighted- I have 7 aunts and 3 uncles (my dad is 1 of 11- his parents had 7 and adopted 4) and all 7 aunts came to this lunch! Poor Josh thought some of the men would be there- he and Luke kept each other company.

Beks was a little tired...

...but not too tired to pose for pictures.

I loved how Luke and my dad matched.

Dad came just at the end to pick up the kids, so some of us could go to the movies. Josh and I went to the movies 3 days in a row- awesome! (We saw Up in the Air, The Men Who Stare at Goats, and Leap Year- let's say that 1 of those movies was good. :))

Well, we fly out tomorrow after 2 months here in the States. We visited my parents in Dallas, our friends and church family in Iowa, Josh's family in south Texas, our best friends in College Station, and Sea World in San Antonio. It was a packed 8 weeks, and I loved it!

FAQ's:

How long were you in the States? 2 months

Are you sad to go back to Scotland? No. It will be hard to say good-bye- it always is. However, we have lived abroad a year and a half and have settled in there well. We had a great trip and no regrets, so it makes going back easier.

When will you come back? Probably the same time next year.

How much longer will you be in the UK? Probably another 2 1/2 years.

Does Rebekah go to school? She will start preschool 5 days a week from 12:45-3:15 after she recovers from jet lag- probably a week from tomorrow.

What do you do in the UK? I mostly mommy, and I work online while the kids sleep. I do some writing for a sound masking company.

What did you enjoy most about this trip? I think seeing family and friends. It was great to spend quality time with both sides of the family and with our dear friends. I also loved that Luke really started walking here and our families got to see him turn into such a fun little boy.

See you on the other side!

Emily and fam